I am a student at in Uru MÄnuka. In 2020 I was a year 9 and in 2021 I will be a year 10. This is a place where I will be able to share my learning with you. Please note....some work won't be edited - just my first drafts, so there may be some surface errors. I would love your feedback, comments, thoughts and ideas.
Hi Ranit, I really liked you poem about Fiji. But I saw one mistake, you wrote "I have a poem to share with." In that sentence after "with" you should write you. And that makes the sentence sense. Hope you like my feedback/comment! Bye!!
Hi Ranit, I saw an another miststake, in this sentence "It makes me sad as a cloud because it is my home and my Grandma and my Grandpa living there and like living there as well." That sentence has 3 and's! This poem looks like a bit of a story. Hope you like my feedback/comment!! Bye!!
Hi Ranit, I really liked you poem about Fiji. I have saw a few mistakes on your poem like here "Doing jobs is best for all my country" It doesn't make sense. I hope you like my feedback/comment. Bye!
Comments Please structure your comments as follows: Positive - Something done well Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or Ask a question you want to know more about
Hi Ranit, I really liked you poem about Fiji. But I saw one mistake, you wrote "I have a poem to share with." In that sentence after "with" you should write you. And that makes the sentence sense. Hope you like my feedback/comment! Bye!!
ReplyDeleteHi Ranit, I saw an another miststake, in this sentence "It makes me sad as a cloud because it is my home and my Grandma and my Grandpa living there and like living there as well." That sentence has 3 and's! This poem looks like a bit of a story. Hope you like my feedback/comment!! Bye!!
DeleteHi Ranit, I really liked you poem about Fiji. I have saw a few mistakes on your poem like here "Doing jobs is best for all my country" It doesn't make sense. I hope you like my feedback/comment. Bye!
ReplyDelete